In a rock 'em, sock 'em survey of real people (I call them "everyday experts"), we asked and you told us what scares you most. Your honesty and willingness to open your hearts was incredible. You listed more than 100 things that frighten you, but it doesn't stop there. You have some amazing ideas on how to truly not let fear get in your way, as you're living your life, achieving your success, on your grind.
This week, let's take a look at the BIGGEST thing you guys fear most:
This fear will likely hit close to home. Sometimes it feels like it's the yin to success' yang. The opposite side of the coin. But when it comes to what you do to manage this fear, the ideas were plentiful.
Erin G. says to remember that you can only do your best. “As long as I do my best and work hard at what I am doing and love, then I will be okay. It isn't easy to remind yourself, because anxiety and fear creep in and make it very difficult to trust myself. However, I try to take a step back, breath, and not sweat the small stuff. In 5 years, it probably won't matter anyways!”
Brandon D. says that, for him, it’s about understanding that failure can be a part of success.
“Understanding the end result will be what it will be is somewhat comforting. The ability to relinquish control is typically the root cause of all my fears. But trusting in the process helps remove that fear and need for control,” he says. “I can't fail unless I try, but also I can't succeed without making the attempt in the first place.”
Shannol G. says your failures can fuel future success. “I always get back up after each failure with a vengeance to succeed,” he says.
For Sarah P., it’s a confidence play: “I try to celebrate my successes internally, big and small,” she says. “I say positive affirmations to myself like ‘You are enough. You are worthy.’ to keep up my confidence.”
Josie B. says focus on what you can do, when a sense of feeling inadequate pops up: “All we can control in our lives is our response to what is happening, and I feel as though if we don't like our life's story it is up to us to rewrite those mistakes and failures,” she says. “I tend to focus on the positive things in my life, the goals I have reached, and the possibilities that the future holds."
She says you can feel more encouraged by helping to encourage others: “Tomorrow is always fresh and new with no mistakes. I am an encourager by nature, and in encouraging others I find that it lessens my own fear of failure.”
Astrid D. says her fears happen as negative self-talk. You know, that tape in your head that has awful things to say? She nips it in the bud with mindfulness. “It’s the classic Buddhist idea of being the ‘observer’ who watches thoughts and tries not to attach to them,” she explains. “This helps me avoid getting sucked too deeply down any one rabbit hole. There are so many different ways to perceive ‘reality’ and reminding myself of this fact is also therapeutic.”
Stephanie D. says to face those fears head-on.”Sometimes, my fears seem unfounded, so I ask myself, ‘Why am I putting my energy into thinking about this?’ and that seems to open up my mind a little bit. But, it's not always that easy. If that doesn't work, I talk it out with a loved one, take deep, long breaths, or take a walk outside and contemplate.”
Erica C. says she opts for a faith-lift (my cheesy phrase, not hers!) when facing her fear about being enough: “The fear of not being enough affects every relationship I have,” she says. “I'm always trying to do more, be more, and always feeling that it's not enough. This fear causes me to perceive any question as criticism, which in turn causes me to defend myself against the perceived criticism. What helps me is remembering that this fear is not based in reality. I am enough, just as I am. My faith helps me connect with the divinity within me, and treat myself with kindness. I'm allowed to make mistakes and be wrong, and it's okay. I'm still a child of God like we all are, doing the best we can.”
Laurie L. says these things get her through: “Meditation, self-guided imagery, copious amounts of tequila.”
Thank you, Everyday Experts, for talking back about what scares you. Fear of failure wasn't the ONLY thing on the list, however. There's much more to talk about next week, right here. In the meantime, tell me: What scares you? As Halloween approaches, what fears do you want to face? Hit me up at @KyleCollins on Twitter and @KyleInterviews on Instagram or fill out the handy dandy form!
No comments yet